Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. - white girl life coach.Fifth Third Bank? POST.
he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it.Missed Connection: You were standing at the RedBox.

By Caroline Bologna.

I just sent this document to it.The guy at Chipotle couldn't close my burrito. OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words.Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? LisaHarris.

I looked at him. I was wrong. it's over. For more great sports stories ... ",How to make a list without Spin Doctors references: 13 Funny Tweets About The Social Awkwardness Of Zoom Meetings. No Terrific!" - Mitt Romney, every time Jar Jar Binks appears on screen,"Ha ha ha! ".Sick of having to go to 2 different huts to buy pizza & sunglasses.Sick of having to go to 2 different huts to buy pizza & sunglasses."Are you sexually active?" I whispered, "It's not your fault." He wept in my arms.The guy at Chipotle couldn't close my burrito. YOU JUST BROKE MY HOUSE IN HALF AND NOW YOU'RE READING MY JOURNAL,YOU JUST BROKE MY HOUSE IN HALF AND NOW YOU'RE READING MY JOURNAL.I'd like to return this pack of gum. and we're all, "No you motherfucking will not. can u come pick me up from my rap battle? %link% Did he say something to you? I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES,cop: where were you last night? Wait this might be football.DATE TIP: Hold doors. "Any drug use?" LisaHarris. OneFunnyMummy Report. But every once in a while, a little bit of genius comes along (ok, that part of the metaphor didn’t make sense). no, i lost.

".I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.Sex is like pizza, if you're going to use bbq sauce you better know what the fuck you're doing,Sex is like pizza, if you're going to use bbq sauce you better know what the fuck you're doing.I like to imagine Supreme Court is just like regular court but with tomatoes and sour cream.Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me?

I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank. *approaches hot blonde at supermarket* We're gonna get that bastard.I always see homeless people walking around with cups of change. ","More like detachment parenting am I right?!? 41 of the funniest tweets ever written. *like FTW on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/usatodayftw.Welcome to For The Win's European Union Experience.Max Kellerman slams the Broncos for not considering Colin Kaepernick over Blake Bortles,Arthur Blank contradicts Dan Quinn on whether the Falcons knew the onside kick rules,Deion Sanders refutes report that his Jackson State staff includes Terrell Owens, Warren Sapp,What Michael Jordan in NASCAR could do for Bubba Wallace and racing,Adam Silver predicts the next NBA season won't start until 2021,WWE 2K Battlegrounds review: A refreshing spin on WWE 2K,Quick-thinking hunters survive grizzly bear attack,Xbox fans can finally preorder the Xbox Series X and Series S,Michael Thomas tweets and deletes 'might get ugly fast' during Saints-Raiders game,Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. No *follow @ForTheWin: https://www.twitter.com/forthewin reply. All rights reserved. For more great sports stories ... Twitter has been around for 14 long years, and in that time, millions of celebrities and normal people have done everything from announcing a presidential run (looking at you, Kanye) to tweeting out what they ate that day.According to Brandwatch.com, Twitter has 330 million monthly active users that send out 500 million tweets every day, which is 6,000 tweets per second. ©2020 Verizon Media. no, i lost.

Ants are, like, "Hey, I only want these crumbs, ok?" 45 Funny Tweets About Parents' Bedtime Struggles "Stay woke. ―Kids at bedtime." View more comments #67 . … ","My cat doing a hundred annoying things in the background while I'm WFH is still not as bad as the times my coworker clipped his fingernails at his desk.

it's over. Twitter has become a lot like an insect: it’s typically buzzing while desperately trying to fly into your ear. 19 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week "My cat doing a hundred annoying things in the background while I'm WFH is still not as bad as the times my coworker clipped his fingernails at his desk."
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